return my video game
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
