I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
