walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
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