i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Randomize
