I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Randomize
