Your dad touched me again.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
