I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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