Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize