i don't like sucking hair
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
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