Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
