He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize