it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Randomize
