I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
