Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
