Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
