yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Randomize
