That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
