would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
