she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
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