we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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