Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Randomize
