i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
