I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Randomize