all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
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