Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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