Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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