I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
