do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
