you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize