Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Just pee around me
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
