so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Randomize
