Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Randomize
