Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
