Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
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