She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
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