Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Randomize