is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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