Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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