You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
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