I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
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