I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Moan for me like Helen Keller
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
