Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
They are going to name an STD after you.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
