Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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