she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
