but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
