Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I understand Curling. That high.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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