I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
