its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Randomize
