What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Banned from zoo.
Again?
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
