member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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