Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
