I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
