I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
