I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
