ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize