you would pick up someone in the library
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize
