peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
