Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
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