ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
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