Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
